|Posted by modern-arnis on November 26, 2010 at 8:17 PM|
Everyone experiences it. It is a natural part of what makes us who we are, but how we react to the stimulus, shows if we are in control of ourselves or need to seek deeper training.
One of my favorite sayings go like this, “The only person you can ever hope to control is yourself” This is pure truth. You cannot control the person who is rude to you, or cuts you off while driving, or is impatient waiting for you to complete a task at work, etc… But YOU CAN control how you react to their energy and respond.
As a younger man I had anger management issues. I had difficulty controlling my temper and would lash out at anyone I felt deserved it. Funny thing, most of them didn’t! It was my perception that caused the outburst. See, most people don’t realize that they may have cut you off driving, or are being impatient waiting for you. In our fast paced, internet speed, 2 minute meal world. We hardly have to wait for anything now, so our patients and understanding abilities are suffering dearly.
My perception is my world. That means, how I perceive someone or something is how it is to me. If I perceive a person being rude, even if they’re not, I still see them as such. I have (and still do) work very hard to first not fly off the handle when I get angry. I first BREATHE and then study the situation and try to see it from the other person’s point of view? Then I ask myself if I think they we’re trying to upset me intentionally or if I’m just perceiving it that way. If I’m not certain, I may ask the person kindly what they meant and I find, in most cases, that it was just a misunderstanding. If I feel it was on purpose. I ask myself if it’s worth making a big deal about and most times it’s not, so I SMILE at the individual, send them a silent blessing and let it go. But if I do find that it was intentional. I try my best not to get angry. I try to BREATHE and RELAX before dealing with the situation. I use reasoning, facts and patience to workout the issue WITHOUT resorting to more anger, foul language or violence. But, in most cases I just let it go and move on!!!
Now that’s easy to type but, not easy to achieve all the time. So, I MUST train and practice, just like my martial arts training is only achieved through repetition and focus, so must my training to control my temper. Each morning with my prayers and meditation, I ask for patience with whom all I meet. I bless them and ask not to judge and have the ability to think and feel before I speak or react. Now am I perfect, well asks my wife and she’ll say YES, and then giggle. But I’m working and improving daily. I treat it just like training and the more I do, the better I get. If I ignore it, then controlling my emotions becomes more difficult.
This is what I feel we need as our earthly family. We are ALL one from the same source, that source is giving, kind, loving and never spiteful. But, as we age, we grow away from that source and become more physical and less spiritual. We need to return to our source in prayer and meditation and ask for guidance and peace. It’s just like anything else, if we want to be good at something, we MUST practice.
As a wise person once said, “I am in control of me, not you, me”
God bless you and if you need help, seek a trusted friend or teacher who can help you on you path to inner peace. “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Peace Enoch